can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
