cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We have started to decorate penises.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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