Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
