omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
