:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
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A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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