I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
