ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
