I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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