I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
