and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
