Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
