He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You just made me feel so damn special
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
