pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
