We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
we should paint friendship bongs
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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