sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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