my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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