I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
