Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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