I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
