Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
no, he came in my armpit
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
