Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
