do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Randomize
