No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
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In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
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I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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