How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
