Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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