He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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