I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize