After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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