proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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