there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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