Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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