This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
