I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
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The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
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