yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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