so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
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I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
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Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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