I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
