you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
