he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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