Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
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