the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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