my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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