who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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