I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
