Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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