When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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