sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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