You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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