I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
