Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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