he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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