Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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