I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
