you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
