Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
