She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
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You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
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Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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