Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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