I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
