I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
